It’s been a week, a long week. In fact it’s been a long month and we’re not half way through yet.
Honesty. That’s what’s struck me these thirteen days into October. More so, it’s the lack of honesty within the world where success is everything and relinquishing responsibility for one’s own wrong-doing seems to be acceptable. Egos can rage ugly in eyes that turn steel as all sense and sensibility is overpowered in a bid to succeed. And the minimal remorse at the lack of honesty makes it all the more uglier.
The deficiency of fortitude to right a wrong that’s blatantly obvious and easy to fix with a few words is an unappealing human trait that riles me to extremes. The inability to be upfront is one thing but to cover up a transgression to allow another to believe that what they perceive to be true is true, or to allow another to innocently take the blame for something they did not do … there’s something seriously and sadly wrong in that. Surely my belief to live and work with integrity and honesty to live a satisfied and enriched life is not one that only a minority have.
I find it disturbingly immoral when I see someone with little fibre unable to stand up and be honest, or when I see the unashamed behaviour of one that allows another to perceive something terrible of an innocent human being when that one knows that that something terrible is untrue. It’s as if I’m looking at the world from another world, where the world I’m peering at is one of deceit and dishonesty with long-held fears that have festered and accumulated over many years.
People live in a way that is true to their ideals with a level of integrity and at a level of comfortability that suits them and their lifestyle. I understand that. We’re all human and we’re all different, which means the levels of disparity in integrity and honesty are vast. Perhaps they’re so vast that chasms form and us humans can disappear into those chasms as a way of self-preservation.
The leveller though, has to be courage. It’s the gumption to live and work in a way that does not hurt or harm other humans (animals too for that matter), whether that is physical, emotional or psychological, even if it means overcoming one’s own fear to ensure no harm or hurt to another.
And there it is. Without courage, lives fear. Understanding where it exists and acknowledging it for what it is allows us to address it. That’s key to living with integrity and honesty: facing our fears to overcome them so we can live in courage. Yet facing that fear can be difficult to do.
The child that is chastised for failing and wrong-doing, for the way they look, speak or behave, or for what they eat, how they dress and why they do what they do, the child that is prevented from speaking up … that child grows to learn fear. That reprimand stays with the child and that’s what the child learns. That child grows fear, grows to an adult with fear.
The child on the other hand, encouraged to speak and is respected for their views, their likes and dislikes, the child that is included and is given the time to learn and speak and the support to fall, the child who is supported during tough battles … they grow to be empowered, to love, be patient, empathetic and tolerant. They learn truth. They learn courage.
It’s hurtful to see people living without honour and decency. I get annoyed, very annoyed, and can be so affected by it when I see it. Eventually though, with support of family and friends, I move beyond my annoyance to see the sadness of the suffering child, the years of pent-up fear in the adult. Sometimes, the more I see the world, the more unreal it becomes.